a fistful of neurons

subliminal

2011-09-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

i took my eyes off you, in a moment of distraction, just for a fraction of a second and a whole new view opened up in front of me.

unexpected, yet, well familiar.

the things you say, the strings you pull,

so skillfully...

chameleon.

your tongue isn't forked

and your fangs don't seem that sharp...
you don't seem to be a venomous creature, yet... some venom you can inject!
what a perfect smile to use as distraction... you really could be on top of the food chain.
your heart is soft, but you save roughness for later. and "later" could be any moment; do you even know yourself?

i've seen into your heart. it's written all over your face; it's on your looks, it's in your every gesture; it's in the tone of your voice; it's when your eyes disagree with your mouth.
fascinating, how your tongue can catch your eyes, unprepared. surprising how your heart phases out, just a beat before irregular, uncontrolled acceleration. even the movement of your hands, shows an unusual pattern.

i am slowing down... closing to spiritual hibernation.
i am soaring over the clouds; faded colored rainbow, a circle around me. i've been there before. several times.
come to think about it; you've been there too, you must have, i have seen you there.
i will enter your dreamworld, your deepest of dreams. i will see you there. i will watch you there. i will even let you see me. in spirit, you will remember me. i will touch you. tomorrow, you won't be aware you woke up from a dream, you won't even remember you've just had a dream.
i hate it, when it comes to this. i don't even know why i do it. i keep doing it. maybe, maybe, maybe i won't remember either. but i am not afraid; i know myself. i hate it when out of the blue, completely unexpected, you experience that "flashy deja-vu"... weird feeling... - it's like projecting that into the future, or was it "dragging the future" to that sleepy night's deep-sub-conscience dreams? although i've promised to myself not to intrude into those territories again; i know you will like it; you've liked it before. aahh... i wish you kept track of this, just like i did. ahhh, the future, the ashes to pass.
we saw it... chose to forget; so sadly. - yet, i have been able to bring back with me, to you, several - although short - episodes of it.
logic dictates to you that this is not possible... that i am stuttering, or something else; but how come you believe it; how come you know it to be the undeniable truth?
i remember now. it happened tomorrow.
lit a candle and was holding a red carnation in my hand. i don't know what that means yet. i only know you liked it and it made you smile. you were knee-deep into the cloud. i crossed my legs and sat in front of you. i asked you do the same. i showed you things. i can't remember them. i am sad. it happened tomorrow, so i will try to remember not to forget them.
anyhow... you know... you won't be that surprised. :)
don't move, for now.

Elysian rune

2011-09-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

Slow breath of quiescent time,
scattering and spreading the fine sands of its course,
once defining the thresholds of the universe...
it will soon be a violet midnight
ballet of green lights
veiling down the starry northern sky
tuned to the notes of an ethereal music
in every gaze and every sigh,
in the warmth of this cool night...
* * *
the free stars of heavens did not mind
the chains binding them in constellations
stories were told of them
and names to remember
for the sun was too jealous
wanting the day all to itself
berating the night into silence
and the darkness of thoughts
most hidden of all
for the day to reveal
the ice cold nature
as you shy away with them
into heavenly realms
where a sun so bright
is naught but an odd milestone
to the vastness of darkness
* * *
I give you the sun
and i give you the moon
and the stars with them
the aurora is for you
and the flowers that bloom
the scent of what's left pure
and the ocean is yours too
and the bright blue sky
and everything in them
I give them away
for a smile of yours
for you to contemplate
what you are to me
I wrote it everywhere
across the universe
painted it in the sky
carved it in the earth
limned it in the mountains
poured it in the seas
spread it in the heights
honed it in the depths
forged it in the fire
froze it in the ice
imbued it in the clouds
all across through times
fused it within you
to the jealousy of angels
* * *
soon it all will vanish
and nothing will remain
and there then you will see
the love that bides in me
the things you've been avoiding
forgotten lay behind
what once you marveled after
desolate they lay
in hidden depths of mind
what made you wander stray
and once this veil is lifted
alone you would remain
if i had forgotten you
even for a second
let you wither in the dark
and your soul go bitter
in this blistering cold winter

a love to be continued...

pulse

2011-09-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

distraction and commotion
lost in confusion
pain and silence...
a faint ray of sun of a silent sunset
dim red washed in the sea
a cloud...
and solitude...
the song of the sea
eons of time
the whole universe
and the life in it
with joy and sorrow
and good and evil
darkness and light
your soul can see
so far and near
no distance too big
eternal to appear
the warmth of it
gentle strokes across your face
it dawns on you
and heats your heart
the past and present parade in front
harmonious dance of a thousand medleys
the sound of love, so tender and soft
so plain and quiet
like ripples in your soul synched to the beat of heart
and it's faster
and faster
and faster so still
luminiferous pulse
ripping the universe
and old sheets of time
and light floods in
freedom.

Déjà vu

2011-09-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

Images linger in your mind.
They're stuck in there.

Images from the past
Images from the present
Images from the future
Images of unknown origin

Times immemorial
you don't really understand

hold on, your phone is ringing...
Images in your mind
you can't really make it out
oh, yeah, it's a déjà vu.

words ensue
a whole situation stirs before your eyes

you're still on the phone
everything and nothing, they're in front of you.
it's a déjà vu
it's a simple demonstration of system failure

stubborn conventional memory lays obsolete
yet memories you have
unrecorded
never recorded
vivid memories, exploding through your eyes
it's a system failure.

time and again, your soul communicates with you
speaking to you
of things unseen
you know what follows
the certainty, witnessing again
you're there for the second time, maybe third, maybe tenth... you don't know

......................

things your soul has seen. do not deny them. do not try to stop them.
give them a way. let your soul talk to you. give him a voice.

you will realize, when time comes.

the world is not all you see around you. you have been places your memory has never recorded. you have been in the past, you have been in the present, you have been in the future; you will be in the past again.

your spirit is wise.

HE WILL LEAD YOU THROUGH.

There are no "meant to be" things, yet most of them are meant to be, simply because they already are. they have happened. they are.

your spirit is wise.

be wise.
let yourself go, release yourself. be revealed.
let it flow.

your spirit is wise.

what a ridiculous way to see things... yet you know you're never going to be complete otherwise.

your spirit is wise.

be happy. you will understand later.

you've seen this before...

restart

2011-08-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

you are at a point in life, whence things do not make that common a sense, somehow.
people have dreams.
the impact they have on a person is dramatic.
when dreams are broken or remain unfulfilled, one may notice that the biological compass starts glitching and dysfunction.
it is that feeling of being lost. confusion emerges as a thick blanket of clouds.
suddenly things tend to be clear only grouped or in clusters. there's "islands" of conscious images that seem clear. yet, focusing on them perplexes you the more.
deep down you don't know what you want, even when you're asked, specifically, but from the top of you head, you feel to know exactly. yet you keep searching into your heart. answers come and go... answers that raise other questions; questions that need other answers... a long chain... a big circle.
half the things you do, condemn you. you are told. you want not to chose, but there's a lot of things in front of you that claim two choices each.
why does this happen? why do you find yourself with a list of mistakes in hand, while you do not feel such.
how can people all of a sudden, find themselves in such situations?
restart.
your dreams are broken. they're unfulfilled.
your soul craves to see them fulfilled. your whole being, on the deepest subconscious level, wants to see them fulfilled, patched, put together.
subconsciously, when things seem to suffer failure, when it feels it has not been fulfilling; when you look back and you wonder... when you remember the vivid image of your future-self that your soul projected to your conscious level some time ago, a year, two, ten, twenty... you see failure, you see lack of accomplishment. your subconscious tries to regroup; restart from back whence the plans were laid in front of your spirit, when the images first emerged.
restart...
you are living your life in different plans, different dimensions.
you only have restarted.
you will understand this at precisely... when you find yourself in such a situation.
good luck with your choice.